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Dear D.C. Capitals' hockey players,

Please don't continue much longer in the playoffs, I don't think I can bear it. I love the team, I promise but I also love my boyfriend and well, there's just a new feature that I don't particularly love. I understand that there are many many possible games before you may reach the  end but I don't think I can stand it. You see, my boyfriend has decided to grow...(*gasp) a play-off beard. It's scratchy and smelly and honestly it just looks gross. So perhaps you can find a way to end soon or maybe even announce to all those loyal fans out there to stop growing the beards for their loving girlfriends? It would be greatly appreciated!

P.S. Caps players, I promise I love you. Just spare my boyfriend. Please!